--restaurant life, gratuities, salary, doing sideworks, being a good/better/professional server, dealing with problem customers/guests, beyond being a server/lessons learned
[Insert Introduction here]
I wake up early this Sunday morning to catch the train for work. Inside the train, people are quiet. There are men reading the Sunday papers, mothers and their kids on the strollers, and there are some with their heads hunched down trying to catch a few minutes of sleep before they get off the train. Me, I feel fine even though I got out of work at 1 a.m. and didn’t went to bed until 3:30 last night.
[Insert facts about the restaurant industry and its employees—particularly the servers—here]
I walk inside and the whole place is just starting to come alive. I hear the usual cracking sound of a knife, the grill as it sizzles, and the smell of cooked bacon permeating the entire kitchen. Francisco, one of our cooks, is putting the chopped vegetables in a tall soup pan as he stirs in the broth to make the soup of the day.
"The soup looks delicious, what are you making" I asked.
“Si, sopa de pollo. Como estas, chico?” He said enthusiastically and shook my hand.
“Muy bien, muy bien!” I replied back.
[Insert the rest of the story here]
[Insert more facts here]
[Insert the rest of the story here]
…
…
(as you can see, I’m still working on it…)
1) How well does the author seem to know the reading? Do they use direct quotes, paraphrase, and summaries? 4) OK Comments: From what you put up so far it seems like it is going to be a good read. I would translate what Francisco's replies though, some may not speak spanish.
ReplyDelete2) Do you see any potential for unintentional plagiarism in this paper as the draft is now or as it is revised? Look for radical changes in style, un-cited data, possible cut-and-paste from the web and etc. None at all
3) How well has the author communicated their opinions on the subject (including clear ideas and sentences)? Did they answer the question clearly and promptly and then follow-through? 1) Not at all.Comments: It's only because you haven't finished yet
4) How well is the essay structured? Does the overall organization make sense? 2) Barely. Comments: I think if you did follow what you put up at the top-restaurant life, gratuities, salary, doing sideworks, being a good/better/professional server, dealing with problem customers/guests, beyond being a server/lessons learned-but made it flow it would be a really good read to get a inside look to how a server views his job.
5) Overall, on a scale of 1 to 6, how far along the road to a final draft is this paper? 2) Barely. Comments: I know you still have some stuff to still do but by posting whatever you do have, even if it's little notes on what you want to say could give you important feedback.
1) How well does the author seem to know the reading? Do they use direct quotes, paraphrase, and summaries? 5) Good.
ReplyDeleteComments: so far the author is just writing what he observes and quotes one person he spoke to .
2) Do you see any potential for unintentional plagiarism in this paper as the draft is now or as it is revised? Look for radical changes in style, un-cited data, possible cut-and-paste from the web and etc. None because he hasnt put any research information that i can see in the paper yet.
3) How well has the author communicated their opinions on the subject (including clear ideas and sentences)? Did they answer the question clearly and promptly and then follow-through?5) Good
4) How well is the essay structured? Does the overall organization make sense? 4) OK
Comments: It makes sense but just has a lot of gaps to fill.
5) Overall, on a scale of 1 to 6, how far along the road to a final draft is this paper?5) Good. Comments: I think the type of writing is very descriptive. It allows me to have a clear picture in my head of what he is talking about.
What are the main issues this author needs to work on in order to improve this essay (top 3)?:
-Incorporate more research facts
-make it more clear what exactly he is tryin to say with this paper
- fill in all the gaps he pointed out with what he is eventually going to write
1) How well does the author seem to know the reading? Do they use direct quotes, paraphrase, and summaries? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments:(1) The topic seems very interesting but you shoukld definatelly develop your story more so you can recieve better feedback.
ReplyDelete2) Do you see any potential for unintentional plagiarism in this paper as the draft is now or as it is revised? Look for radical changes in style, un-cited data, possible cut-and-paste from the web and etc. None______Possible___x___Please explain: If you are going to use facts from resources about the experiences one might face working in such an industry make sure to cite them accordingly.
3) How well has the author communicated their opinions on the subject (including clear ideas and sentences)? Did they answer the question clearly and promptly and then follow-through? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments: (2) I presume you enjoy your job somewhat since you commented that you felt "fine". But definately more material is needed to see a clearer picture.
4) How well is the essay structured? Does the overall organization make sense? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments: (1) There seems to be very little structure so far due to the lack of more information.
5) Overall, on a scale of 1 to 6, how far along the road to a final draft is this paper? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments: (2) The topic is very interesting and can make for a great paper just needs to be developed alot more.
What are the main issues this author needs to work on in order to improve this essay (top 3)?: Develop your ideas without fearing criticism because that is the only way you will actually be able to see how good your paper is or can be.
1) How well does the author seem to know the reading? Do they use direct quotes, paraphrase, and summaries? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments: dissagree he cant no that much if he only has a litte bit 1. mr r agree with ruben.
ReplyDelete2) Do you see any potential for unintentional plagiarism in this paper as the draft is now or as it is revised? Look for radical changes in style, un-cited data, possible cut-and-paste from the web and etc. None______Possible______Please explain:agree with ruben
3) How well has the author communicated their opinions on the subject (including clear ideas and sentences)? Did they answer the question clearly and promptly and then follow-through? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments: i give i a 1. need more info.
4) How well is the essay structured? Does the overall organization make sense? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments:
5) Overall, on a scale of 1 to 6, how far along the road to a final draft is this paper? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments: 1 has a long way to go
What are the main issues this author needs to work on in order to improve this essay (top 3)?: he need to find out more about everything'
1) How well does the author seem to know the reading? Do they use direct quotes, paraphrase, and summaries? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments:It is a good intoduction, interesting. Good (5)
ReplyDelete2) Do you see any potential for unintentional plagiarism in this paper as the draft is now or as it is revised? Look for radical changes in style, un-cited data, possible cut-and-paste from the web and etc. None______Possible______Please explain: None
3) How well has the author communicated their opinions on the subject (including clear ideas and sentences)? Did they answer the question clearly and promptly and then follow-through? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments:Ok but needs more explanation.
4) How well is the essay structured? Does the overall organization make sense? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments: Yes it make sense OK(4)
5) Overall, on a scale of 1 to 6, how far along the road to a final draft is this paper? 1) Not at all. 2) Barely. 3) Somewhat. 4) OK. 5) Good. 6) Impressive. Comments:It is a OK (4)
What are the main issues this author needs to work on in order to improve this essay (top 3)?: Developing paragraphs.
THE FORM
ReplyDelete1) How well does the author seem to know the reading? Do they use direct quotes, paraphrase, and summaries? 5) Good.Comments: It seems that you know what you want to write about.
2) Do you see any potential for unintentional plagiarism in this paper as the draft is now or as it is revised? Look for radical changes in style, un-cited data, possible cut-and-paste from the web and etc. No, not plagerized.
3) How well has the author communicated their opinions on the subject (including clear ideas and sentences)? Did they answer the question clearly and promptly and then follow-through? 3) Somewhat. Comments: You have communicated somewhat because you have not given enough of information to evaluate from.
4) How well is the essay structured? Does the overall organization make sense? 4)Ok. Comments: you did not develop much structure in your essay.
5) Overall, on a scale of 1 to 6, how far along the road to a final draft is this paper? 5) Good. Comments: The topic that you are writing about is very interesting and I would like to read more of the continuation of your story.
What are the main issues this author needs to work on in order to improve this essay (top 3)?: I believe that you need to write more, if you would like to complete the assignment on time. Good Luck, do your best because I think you could make a good research project out of this paper.
1) How well does the author seem to know the reading? Do they use direct quotes, paraphrase, and summaries? 4) OK. Comments: Based on how thorough the pictographic language you use to describe the feeling of a restaurant, it is evident that you have experience with this subject, as well as spiritual investment. I'll suggest that you could introduce some hard facts and statistics that you can cite right from the start, to set the stage for the reader who has little to no experience with the behind-the-scenes element of a restaurant.
ReplyDelete2) Do you see any potential for unintentional plagiarism in this paper as the draft is now or as it is revised? Look for radical changes in style, un-cited data, possible cut-and-paste from the web and etc. None__X____Possible______Please explain: the draft is clearly original
3) How well has the author communicated their opinions on the subject (including clear ideas and sentences)? Did they answer the question clearly and promptly and then follow-through? 2) Barely. Comments: this draft is more descriptive than prescriptive. there is no thesis statement.
4) How well is the essay structured? Does the overall organization make sense?3) Somewhat. Comments: the draft seems to flow, but requires more subtance.
5) Overall, on a scale of 1 to 6, how far along the road to a final draft is this paper? 2) Barely. Comments: much like myself, you have some work to do.
What are the main issues this author needs to work on in order to improve this essay (top 3)?: substance, facts, and opinions.
1) How well does the author seem to know the reading? Do they usedirect quotes, paraphrase, and summaries? 3) Somewhat.
ReplyDeletecomments: The starting looks find, it is creative how you started but needs some facts.
2) Do you see any potential for unintentional plagiarism in this paper as the draft is now or as it is revised? Look for radical changes in style, un-cited data, possible cut-and-paste from the web and etc. None___*___Possible______Please explain:I didn't see any plagiarism.
3) How well has the author communicated their opinions on the subject (including clear ideas and sentences)? Did they answer the question clearly and promptly and then follow-through? 1) Not at all.
Comments:It needs more opinions, lack of information.
4) How well is the essay structured? Does the overall organization make sense? 1) Not at all. Comments:It needs organization but maybe because you still working with the essay.
5) Overall, on a scale of 1 to 6, how far along the road to a final draft is this paper?
2) Barely. You have to work more, it takes time but you can finish a good essay.
What are the main issues this author needs to work on in order to improve this essay (top 3)?:
Try to put outside resources to support your essay and your main idea.